In the modern world, many of us still struggle to get the balance right when it comes to our level of assertiveness, and this can have a real and negative impact on both our personal and professional lives.
But how do you change your approach? Reading books is OK, but they’re often theoretical, and maybe hard to read. And asking others for guidance can be a bit hit-and-miss, not to say a bit embarrassing! But taking an assertiveness course is a great way of improving your self-assertiveness whether you’re an aggressive personality or a passive one – but what’s it all about?
Well, in this article, we’re answering 10 of your questions about assertiveness training.
1. What does assertiveness training involve?
If you’re worrying that this type of training involves being in a room full of people and being forced to “share something fun about yourself”, don’t. You don’t even need to do it via Zoom or Teams, because there are interactive, video-based options that give you total privacy – and flexibility. One choice could be the assertiveness training offered by ZandaX, for example, whose courses are 100% online and can be completed in your own time and in your own home.
2. How does being passive hurt my relationships?
If your personality falls into the passive camp, you may feel that this is a safe place to be however this is not the case. When we are too passive, we run the risk of being taken advantage of by others, for example; a colleague may repeatedly ask you to take on more work because he or she knows that you are unlikely to argue or stand up for yourself. This same thing applies to your personal life and in each instance, it can be harmful to your job or your personal responsiblities.
3. How does being aggressive hurt my relationships?
When we continuously take an aggressive approach to our relationships it can quickly foster resentment and even anger in others. This in turn will, in many cases, cause others to distance themselves from you resulting in a loss of friends and / or being labelled “difficult” at work.
4. Can assertiveness help me handle conflict better?
Absolutely Yes! Assertiveness plays a big role when it comes to conflict in our personal and business lives.
Here’s an example:
A passive personality will often go out of their way to avoid conflict – meaning that decisions will be made which may not be in their best interests.
An aggressive personality might deliberately court conflict in order to further their own interests; causing resentment and tension.
Assertiveness training can help with each of these things by teaching the passive personality not to fear conflict – and the aggressive personality to avoid using conflict as a weapon.
5. What are the dangers of being passive aggressive?
The passive aggressive personality is the middle ground of assertivness – but no less dangerous than passive or aggressive ones. The passive aggressive personality will tend to avoid conflict outwardly while expressing their disapproval in more sneaky ways. This can lead to a slow corrosion of trust in others who will often become frustrated with this behaviour.
6. Can assertiveness help me handle criticism better?
Assertiveness training can absolutely help here in a couple of ways:
In cases of unfair criticism, assertiveness training can help you to stand up for yourself and to calmly state your case.
In cases of warranted constructive criticism, assertiveness training can be valuable in helping you to achieve a balanced perspective which will, in turn, make you more open minded when it comes to well-meant criticism.
7. What’s the difference between passionate and aggressive?
Great question. Many people think these are the same but they are perceived very differently. When we are passionate about something, we tend to be animated and, more importantly, we have a great desire to make others understand our passion. Aggression, on the other hand, is usually the act of trying to impose your beliefs or objectives on others without a great deal of interest in how they feel about it.
8. What impact does assertiveness have on stress?
Our asertiveness levels can have a massive impact on our stress levels whatever type of personality you are. The passive personaltiy will often suffer the stress of living with decisions or situations which have occurred due to their failure to stand up for themselves or impose their opinion on others. The aggressive personality, on ther other hand, may suffer the stress of having to deal with the consequences of constantly pushing their own agenda and alienating others.
9. Is there a “best” level of assertiveness?
That’s a tricky one. All three of the assertiveness types we’ve mentioned in this article have their pros and cons with none being better than another. The ideal when it comes to assertiveness is a healthy balance of all three resulting in a person who is able to stand their ground without being pushy or controlling. This is precisely the balance that assertiveness training courses like ours can help you to achieve.
10. Can I really reset my level of assertiveness?
That’s an easy one – the answer is a resounding yes. As we’ve said, assertiveness training is there to help you to identify which of the three types of behavior describes your personality best – and to then take steps toward small but significant improvements. And investing in an assertiveness course can help you to achieve better personal and professional relationships and a less stressful life.
Turning self-belief into self-assertion
As we’ve shown in this article, assertiveness has a huge impact on our day to day lives and can affect our relationships and our work. By understanding our assertiveness identity and then taking positive steps to make change, it is absolutely possible to improve our lives to a significant degree.
If you’re ready to change your life, why not start the process today?
Sky Bloom INC 
Smith